Mission: Pay What is Due

Debt; noun (dictionary.com)

1. something that is owed or that one is bound to pay to or perform for another.
2. a liability or obligation to pay or render something: My debt to her for advice is not to be discharged easily.
3. the condition of being under such an obligation: His gambling losses put him deeply in debt.

Mistake #1: Went to a Tech school for a liberal arts degree. 
Mistake # 2: Took out private loans from different services.

I have recently graduated from Rochester Institute of Technology with a BS in Psychology and a Minor in Criminal Justice, now working full time as a tele-counselor.  Now that I have this lovely degree, my time to live as an adult in the real world means paying what has now come due. . . student loans.  I currently owe about $100,000.  Now having been in a place of paying student loans off for about 6 months now, I have come to feel incredibly discouraged to be in the red, seeing my total balance go down, inches by inches.  I have also learned a lot of about self and my tendencies. 

One tendency I have identified is being inpatient, seeing no hope in sight for relief, feeling angry with the process and wanting to give up.  I find that this not only carries over within this material circumstance, but my emotional reactions to the people and events have happened in my life.  We work little by little to pay our debt and work little by little to build relationships with the hope of making big impacts on others to become influencers in others’ life.   

A phrase has been helping me find that silver lining is "respect the journey".  Currently feeling very discouraged by my ignorant choices of the past, it is easy for me to hold onto the emotional cost of that mistake to the point of allowing it become my identity.  Dwelling on: "wow I was so stupid and now I have this burden to bare for the rest of my life" and so on and so forth. . .   

I hope to learn that this specific mistake of the past is not considered my identity, but to define myself as someone fearless, who continues to allow myself to be challenged to move forward, learning and embracing new disciplines.  I hope to carry this same lesson into the other facets of my life.  I can deeply connect the journey I am on as a disciple of Christ regardless of the mistakes I have made and the love God has for me to correct me and teach me to love his discipline.    

I can't say that I regret the decision I made to come to Rochester to go to a great school like RIT, but it has cost me a lot of material things.  The people I have encountered and ways they have touched my life outweighs the bad.  It is important to grasp onto the phrase "Respect the Journey" because our material things are not what defines us, we can't take it with us, so why allow it to control our standard of life?  I have decided to use this blog as a motivator and reminder of the joys set before me to pay off my student debt.